Election 2014 and voting

The time has come again. The time to vote and finally show what you want or rather who you want to push to the parliament so that he/she can make some sense there and do some good governance.   The elections in my place are over and yes I voted. To avoid rush we all left early in the morning and saw that a queue had already built in out polling booth.  It made me quiet happy. I thought finally India has woken up and has understood the value of voting.  But my elation was crumbled to pieces when I read in the paper next day that Bangalore South constituency(ours) recorded the lowest turnout in Karnataka.  Considering the fact that this time the candidates were high profile ones ,I thought maybe people will vote more. But No. When I tried to figure out why this may have happened I realised that many had actually utilised the day   as an extended long weekend and left for holidays! April 17th was election day, April 18th was good friday and you know the rest. A four day weekend awaited the greedy citizens and they bolted the moment election date was announced. What a shame! I can understand if an family emergency or any other valid reason but planned holiday makes my blood boil! How can we  as citizens behave so irresponsibly?  We ,who are living in the age where media is covering 24 by 7 the lives of every politician , should be more responsible and act like a true citizen.  

How can we blame the government if we are not choosing the right ones to represent us?  How can we show a finger at them when your un-marked thumb is pointing at you ? How can you say things like politicians suck when you suck as a citizen? 

I have decided that if next time people blame the government for anything, I will ask only one question first. The answer of it will decide if I am going to participate in their debate or not. Yes you guessed it right. The question would be -DID YOU VOTE? 

Malaysian Airlines missing

I know the whole world is glued on to this. We are all thinking what could possibly have happened to the plane? The number of possibilities have reached to around ten.  When I think of those passengers on the plane my heart only asks one question "Why did God do this?". Why did he have to be so cruel to their relatives? They don't even know what has gone wrong with their loved ones. Will they see them ever again? They don't know. Will they see their face(at least body) again? They don'y know. I feel very sad. I have fear of flying  i.e whenever I board a flight I wonder if I will land safely again. Every turbulence scares me and increases my heartbeat at a rate which can audible to others around me. But I still go on flights.  The theory is simple. Whenever we board flights we are giving ourselves into the hands to God,pilot and fate ,terrorists, natural catastrophe. What can be done to avoid this? The answer is too complex. 

- For mechanical failures of the airline, all the airline can do is make sure they thoroughly test the flight for every single crack, anomaly and damage. The airlines must be doing this . So if we happen to go on a flight which still develops a technical snag , the only thing which comes to my mind is : There is nothing anybody could have done.

- For Natural catastrophe - This is again something which can be avoided if the airlines check the weather forecast thoroughly and make sure there is no storm building up as we board a flight. But despite the forecast ,many a storms have brought down a flight. Again not in our hands.

- Terrorism: This is something which can be cut short at  planning stage itself if the so called intelligence agencies are truly doing their job.  But if they do make it to the airport. The airport security checking should nab them immidietly. If we climb such an ill-fated flight  then the whole security team,government  should be held responsible for the passengers fate. God will never participate in such an evil.

- Pilot : If the pilot has a personal agenda and he wants to put the passengers at risk then there is nothing anybody can do. Pilot suicide is the scariest thing I have ever heard. We put all our lives in this guys hands , we trust him, we beleive that he will take us to our destination in a safe and neat way. But when he decides that our destinations are heaven what can we do? I request all the pilots to never do this. Never put your personal crisis onto others. We have families like you do. And every time a pilot does this ,our trust in him withers away slowly. Please dont do this.

My final words about the missing flight is that  I hope there is closure to this whole episode. Let there be an answer ,one way or the other. But let there be an answer soon.

Re-discovery of Somerset Maugham

Everybody knows Somerset Maugham. Even I knew him but never read him! But recently a good thing happened to me. I picked up a Somerset Maugham short stories book and am I glad I did that. For some reason I was prejudiced about Maugham that he would write only serious stuff . But I was mistaken partly. His stories were serious but there is always and undertone of flippancy in them. His writing flows like smooth river which is waiting for a big fall or turn and when that fall or turn does happen you are not left with a shock but a smile on your face. You must read one story of his to understand what I mean . But some stories are quiet touching as well.

The story "Rain"  is like a opera which raises to a crescendo pitch and then falls. The ending will make you feel for the protagonist Sadie Thompson so much and will probably make you hate the men as she does at the end.  I believe this is what Maugham wanted to achieve at the end.  He wanted us to take side of Sadie and we did.  I think his view on morality shows up through this story.  He hated the moral police of his time and his views on sin and immorality was very neutral.  I think that may have come from his childhood and his sexual orientation.  He supported ladies who spoke their mind and who were intellectuals. He somehow portrayed women with strong moral values ("Rain","Jane") as laughing stocks.  And his writing will surely make you less judgmental about morality in general. At least it did that for me.

There are other stories like "Mr.Harrington's Washing" which had Russian Revolution as the backdrop and some memorable characters. The ending is tragic and yet it will just make you say "Oh" and go to the next story. And this is because Maugham builds the story in such a way.

Man-Woman relationship is explored thoroughly in his stories . His dealing of extramarital affairs is so frivolous that you wonder if he had  many extramarital affairs himself. This may bring scornful reaction from many but Maugham somehow puts the plain truth so plainly that you don't suspect him for a minute. He has dealt with other topics like murder, illness and master-slave relationship in somewhat less serious way.

Maugham spent most of his time in Far-East and South Asian countries and hence his stories are all placed in such places. His description of the place make you fall in love with the place and would make your heart desire to see the place.

I would recommend Maugham to anybody who has a classic taste in books.

The word love

I think the most overrated word in this world is the word "love". Ninety percent of everybody's life is spent on things surrounding love. Heartbreaks, depressions are caused by lack of love. But I always wondered why do we think so much about it? The other day my friend told me about a line from Stephen Covey's book about love being a verb and not a noun. That line had a profound impact on me and I wondered how would the world be if only people "showed" love instead of pining over the noun "love". The three words which the whole world dies to hear is "I love you". But I wonder if this is how it should be . If only people loved instead of saying "I love you". On Valentine's day people want cards and chocolates not because they love cards and chocolates  but because they believe that the person has taken an effort to buy me these things which in turn shows that he "loves" her.  This belief is quiet debatable. But instead of concentrating on special days like Birthdays,Valentines day  if we all worked hard to love rest of the years there would be fewer problems and more happiness all around. 

So how can we show love? Cards,cake,flowers  are just embellishments in front of the real "love" gestures. Before I go ahead let me clarify that for me love is not just between couple. It can talk about any relation mother-daughter, father-daughter,mother-son,grandparents-grandchildren,two friends,siblings anybody. 

Love is when we are ready to give up on a thing wholeheartedly so that your loved one is happy. Love is when your loved one is sick and you nurse them  praying everyday that he gets better. It is when your loved one accepts you the way you are and  works himself around it. It is acceptance of the whole fact that we may fight and argue but that doesn't mean we are ready to give up on each other for ever. Love is the only thing which enables us to get over grudges and arguments and become normal self again . Small gestures  alone build love.

Having said the above things I also believe that a normal .sane person with a good character(as in personality) is capable of loving anybody. It need not be anyone specific. And those people are loved back in return as well.But we must remember to "love" first and then returns are automatic :). So dont wait for the cards,valentine day flowers but show your "love" gestures and that should take care of everything else.

What kind of Leader does India need?

There are two kinds of leaders.One who leads by example and other who motivates others to  set examples. India as a country has seen many such leaders. Gandhi was probably the only leader who fell in both categories. He showed his resistance against foreign rule himself first and then motivated others to join him. But that is indeed rare. People like APJ Abdul Kalam , Sachin Tendulkar, ANR(actor) have led by example. They have shown ordinary people how dedication, determination and talent can make us shine. People like AB Vajpayee, Subhash Chandra Bose have motivated, inspired others to set an example. 

So what kind of leader does India need now? I believe that Indian youth have more or less realized the importance of good life and a country with good governance. What India needs now are leaders who can lead by example. We do not need any more motivational speakers screaming in every rally asking us to wake up. The time has come for the leaders of the country to step up and set an good example by showing their skills in administration,governance, economics and science. Instead of talking about big dreams and asking the country to vote for them let them show us some meat. We want the leaders to show us the detailed plan they have for each of constituencies.  We want to know the list they have in hand containing all the problems we as people are facing.  We want to know how competent their team of ministers are in governance and administration. We want to know what their plans are in controlling the spiraling population, what is their "big picture" plan to improve the literacy rate of India. We want to know  what they are doing about the rising gas prices and power hikes.  Only then we will vote for them. We do not want any more leaders talking about RTI, empowerment and employment as if they were empty words and nothing else. We dont care about anybody's oratory skills or whether they wear khadi bandgalas.  Let them wear shirt and pant but PLEASE first show us that you are competent enough to do the job. For every job  we apply, our qualifications right from tenth standard are needed. We need to have experience and on top of it we need to go thru five rounds of interviews and only then we get the job. You leaders must show us also, that you deserve to get this job of leading us and making decisions for us!  They are setting a bad example by giving tickets to murders, rapists, criminal( I dont care if their cases are still "on trial") . We dont need such bad examples. They need to select competent people to stand for their people and show us they are indeed leaders who have the ability to judge who is good and who is bad.

The big question is does India have any such leaders? Kejriwal to some extent has tried to be one but how long will it last? Anybody else?  I am still thinking.....

Persuasion Jane Austen

This book is probably the most underrated book of Austen  and yet it is the best of the seven novels she has written.  The thought and maturity with which she wrote this book reflects in her characters and the scintillating dialogues.   The book begins with Sir Walter Elliot reading from his family book describing the family history and himself.   It is the only book he ever reads!  Austen brings out Sir Walter Elliot’s vanity in a sentence!  Such gems are spread throughout the book  and will make you fall in love with the book again and again.

The story  is about Anne ,the second daughter of Walter Elliot. Austen has written the book from Anne’s perspective  and we know about the rest of the characters either through their dialogues or Anne’s thoughts about them.  Anne falls in love with Captain Frederick Wentworth at a young age of nineteen.  At the time Wentworth has no fortune to talk about.  When Wentworth proposes to Anne, she is persuaded by her Godmother to give up the match.  Anne’s Godmother is Lady Russell who belives that the match will be an imprudent one. Anne is heartbroken and yet she refuses Wentoworth. Wentworth is heartbroken ( “When you broke my heart in pieces”)  and is determined to make a mark for himself . Time moves on and it is seven years later that he returns once more to Uppercross  village because his sister and brother-in-law(Mrs and Mr Croft) have rented Kellynch hall.  Anne and Wentworth meet again.  The silent looks  , Wentworth’s resentment towards Anne, Anne’s jealousy of Wentworth  everything is shown so subtely and yet it  reaches the reader like fresh air. You can feel it but can’t see it or describe it.  Reader’s heart secretly prays that they unite again .  Austen makes sure that this wish is fulfilled only at the end (sigh). 

The story is very simple one so what stands out in this beautiful love story is the journey through with Anne and Wentworth realise their frailties and embrace what should have been theirs from the beginning.  Austen makes the first separation worthwhile for both the protagonist. If Anne had rebelled and married Wentworth would he have gone on to become a naval officer or taken up dead ship like Asp (which would have sank many times) and make a fortune out of it?  Would have Anne have realised that firmness of character is the most important of all for a solid foundation of a relationship? The answer would be no to both I believe.  A particular incident involving Louisa Musgrove changes their lives once again. Wentworth realises that firmness of character is not a permanent trait and that one can be persuaded to do something against our character. This key incident is the turning point of the book. Both Anne and Wentworth re-unite with complete acceptance of their past behaviour  and look forward to a golden future.

The other characters which appear in the novel add to the drama and bring Anne and Wentworth closer.  The delightful Mrs Croft has a fantastic character and  has some of the best quotes of the book. When Wentworth says he doesn’t like women on ship , she immediately  snubs Wentworth(who is her brother of course)  saying  “I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.”   I fell in love with her character soon after this.   Anne’s siblings are nothing but vain and stupid so there is nothing much to say there .  Lady Russell is the one who persuades Anne to reject Wentworth the first time but second time she fails but Austen  makes sure that reader doesn’t feel any animosity towards the Lady Russell. All in all they make a great family with delightful incidents.

Austen’s narration is through Anne.  Austen probably did this because Anne is reticent by nature and the only way Anne could tell the reader how she felt was if she herself narrated the story .  This proved to be the best part of the book. Anne describes everything so well that we hardly need anybody else’s thoughts in it. 

There is another reason why the book may captivate many. Because of numerous quotes (you can say gems) throughout the book.  The best one is this

“My idea of good company...is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation;that is what I call good company.’

‘You are mistaken,’ said he gently ,’that is not good company that is the best.”

There are many more gems . The letter Wentworth writes to Anne at the end is the best love letter any man could possibly write.  We must read the book just for this.  There is one more quote which also reflects the age to Austen belongs. But somehow it is relevant even to this day .

“Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything.” 

This quote shows Austen’s opinion about women’s role in society.  She depicted/described women’s role in Victorian era so well that we probably don’t have to look into history books for it.

We all know what a genius Austen was/is (through Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility) but this book affirms it thousand times more with her mature and wiser writing. Writing which reflects the fact that she had understood the world better and most importantly what love meant.

Agatha Christie- Sittaford Mystery

The first page of Sittaford Mystery itself leaps into a suspense. The seance was the perfect way to set the pace of book. And by the end of the first chapter we have a murder. It is almost a perfect start to a novel. But alas the book somehow fails hold on to the impact in the coming chapters.

We all know that Christie is known for including multiple sub-plots to the main plot to keep the mystery intense.  Somehow the sub-plots don't seem to gel well with the main theme. In this there are two sub-plots. One dealing with the Willets and Brain Pearson and the other with Jenifer Gardner and her husband.  The mystery around Willet somehow does seem interesting but fails to garner any suspense around it.  And finally when the mystery does come out , the reader will feel " is that it?".  In Christie's other books like "After the funeral" or "They do it with Mirrors" there are some very interesting sub-plots which somehow only add to the mystery. Sittaford Mystery was a big disappointment in that area.

The unraveling of the mystery also passable but nothing extraordinary. There is just one single "Aha" moment in the mystery which solves the murder. You can almost push down to one page.  The rest somehow doesn't add up to the solving of the mystery. In "Murder at Vicarage" Christie marvelously adds the plot of a mysterious woman, a daughter and Mrs Price's theory and many other things which embellish the whole plot. Here there is one single moment of truth which also is not extraordinary.

One thing which seems wrong to me is why Mrs Willet would invite all her neighbors to her house if her purpose of taking the house was what they mentioned in the book? Seems illogical. But she does invite everybody and that's where the whole murder plot starts. There is another love triangle as well in the story which to me seemed very tiresome. I couldn't garner any emotion for the the two characters who sort of solve the mystery. All in all the book was not very satisfactory. My standard of Christie is so high that I cant seem to settle for anything less.

Pride and Prejudice 2005

Recently bought an DVD of Pride and Prejudice movie made in 2005 featuring Keira Knightley and Matthew Mcfadyen. Well I was sorely disappointed with the movie and its adaptation of the most famous books by Jane Austen. They digressed too much from the original book which sort of made it bland.

Now where do I start? The first scene where the Bennett family is introduced was itself a turn off for me. In the book  the girls don't scream like mad girls when they hear that Mr. Bingley has rented Netherfield. It seemed so out of character for Lizzie and Jane to participate in the screaming. Even Mr. Bennett didn't react the way he does in the book.I think the 1995 version of BBC adaptation nailed it.
And the ball where Mr Darcy is first seen  looked so artificial to me. Mr Darcy's expression  didn't seem proud or haughty(which is what it should have been) ,to me he seemed as if he were suffering from some sort of constipation(seriously!) And Lizzie's constant smirk or arrogant smile made me feel as if she were Mr.Darcy and not the real one! 

I understand the the 2 hour version needs sharp editing and requires more work in retaining important parts of the book and excluding not so important ones but look how "Persuasion"(1995 movie) was done. They condensed the book into a beautiful movie with fantastic editing. P&P somehow failed in that department.There is one scene in the book where Eliza runs across dirty fields to Netherfield and dirties her petticoats in the process. I think from that scene onward Mr.Darcy develops an attraction towards Eliza. But that scene was so fleeting that it hardly left any effect on me.Even the proposal scene where he comes near her as if to kiss her and she also leans slightly towards him  was sort of turn off.That scene  shouldn't have shown such an intimacy from Eliza.Her feelings towards him change only after she reads the letter he writes explaining his action and revealing Wickham's true colours. Why did they have to show Eliza leaning towards him? That didn't seem correct to me.

I somehow didn't enjoy the scene where Lizzie visits Pemberley with her Aunt and Uncle as well. She thinks he is not in town but is shocked to find him in Pemberley itself. But her discovery was shown as snooping according to me. She snoops on Darcy and Georgiana (this is scene is not there in the book) through a gap in the door. Lizzie who is so righteous  doing this seemed out of character.If I were Lizzie I will simply run back as soon I discover them(Darcy and his sister).Why didn't they keep the original scene? It was so romantic in the book ,should've been even more romantic on a screen! And what can you say  of the scene where Lizzie gets a letter from Jane informing her about the elopement of Lydia.

First of all why did they have to keep her aunt and uncle in the scene? If Darcy and Lizzie were alone the scene whould've had more romance! And the way Keira Knightley reacted to the letter was so funny.She comes out of the room with tears and goes back to the room.She comes out again but howling this time ! I mean I felt like laughing at her reaction. This scene alone could've been the most romantic of all!

And the proposal scene where she runs across the fields to find Mr.Darcy is sort of ok. The feelings seemed to come across on the faces of the lead actors.
But over all the film sort of underwhelmed me.If only they had kept all the original Jane Austen scenes! Jane knew women's heart like no one! Only she knew that women feel the same in 1700 and 2013 :-).

All about Kambha-composting in your backyard

I still remember how we got introduced to the Kambha. We had gone to a friends' house and there we saw a set of three pot-like units one on top of each other.We got curious and asked them about it.They told us that it was composting unit made out kitchen waste! We were  impressed.So much that we bought our own Kambha few months later. We took a bigger one considering the amount of kitchen waste we generate every day ( We are a family of five). It cost us around thirteen hundred bucks.So just wanted to  enlighten those who are new to it and want to try it out.

How does it look like?

This is the three tired  unit we bought.You can check more varieties in the daily dump site(search for "daily dump"  in Google). There are various sizes according to the kitchen waste you generate. There is even a small,cute one for kids!

How do you use it?

We first start by dumping all the kitchen waste the top-most (call it A). We keep doing it until it becomes three fourths full.Remember to stir the contents once in a while.Once the pot is 3/4ths full ,you need to transfer its content to the second pot (called B) .Your A pot again ready for use.Once it is 3/4ths full again we need to shift the contents of B to C(the bottom-most post) and after this we need to shift contents of A to B .Your A is empty again and is ready to use.After a month or so (initially it may take longer) you will find that the contents of bottom-pot have turned into manure.Trust me the smell coming from it will be like the smell of soil.

What all kitchen waste can we dump/not dump?

We dump vegetable peels,fruit peels(all fruits),coffee and tea decoction,dry leaves. We are not supposed to add coconut shell,seeds etc because they don't decompose.Do not add any plastic material to it.They say we can dump leftover food as well but we don't as ours is an apartment and we feel it may emanate bad odour.

(Maybe it is our imagination,but we have never tried it).

How does the manure look like?

Here is how the manure looks like.The one you see in the bucket.

What are the issues you may face with it?
- if yours is an apartment then unless you have a sit out or an balcony big enough it would be advisable to use a smaller one.

-Flies : During summer we faced a major problem with the flies.When I say flies I mean the fruit flies.They were virtually everywhere. Then we found a golden solution for it!. In Apple cider (vinegar, we found it in a supermarket) we poured some liquid dish-washing soap and added some water into it We used a wide transparent bowl for it(plastic).All the flies fell right into it and that was the end of it :).

- Bad odor :This you may get when you go closer to the Kambha. But otherwise there wont be any strong odor.

- You need to allot 1 hour of your weekend time once a month to move the contents from A to B to C.   But trust me its worth it.

What do you do with the manure?

You can use it for your own plants or give it to your friends and neighbors. The manure generated is very rich and the plants will grow very well organically.On the daily dump site you would find a leave-it pot as well for you to store your manure.

Where can I buy one?

We bought it from a nursery Check out more details on the daily dump site.

http://www.dailydump.org

The site has detailed text on using the Kambha and other FAQs you may have.

After the use of Kambha our wet-waste has come down to one fourth! We are very happy about it :).

Guys go for it and do your bit for the environment.

Happy Composting.

Symbiosis in LIfe

Sometimes I keep wondering,what is it that is driving us to do a thing and not do a thing?  But I am sure many will come up with the answer "happiness".But I would say that what we actually want from life is "contentment" and feeling of completeness.  This alone opens the key of happiness. But the question is when do we feel content? i.e. when can you say confidently that "Ah,today every thing happened the way I wanted" . So what leads to contentment is "being in control". I know this sounds like maths and set theory :). How is this possible? This is possible only when we maintain a symbiotic relation with the environment (which includes our family,our work place and the society in general and of course the present circumstances) we are living in. 

Whatever day to day decisions we take if we take them keeping the rest of the environment in mind then we will be happy.But if the decisions taken are with half heart then you will not feel happy and content. For instance if we wanted one kind of movie and your friend wants to see another.And somehow she manages to take you to her choice of movie if you go grudgingly than you will not be content at the end of the day. But if we build our personality in such a way that we learn to accept small oppositions with complete heart and not fuss over it then your contentment quotient will definitely rise. If we refuse to change ourselves even for a small thing then we will end up with more bitterness and discontentment. Its better to use our judgement in these kind of cases,by asking ourselves this question " By giving into the other person ,am I jeopardizing  my personality and life in anyway?".If your heart tells you "No" then you will accept the decision with complete heart. But remember that life is too short to grudge and fret over silly things.Think long term always.

But sometimes we come to a state which you can call a "crossroad" state. This is the state in which where you go  determines your coming future and may entirely change your life. That state we all go through while picking up our careers,switching careers/giving up a career/getting married/ becoming a parent/buying a house /investment involving risk etc. But for these decisions our complete approval of heart is a MUST. If go in one way and finally regret it then nothing can be worse than that. You suffer and you contentment quotient comes down and so does your happiness.While taking these decisions it is very important to understand how your path will impact you and your environment. If we only think of only ourselves and forget the environment than it will lead to conflicts and confusion. Its very important that the whole environment is in the same page as you before you go ahead. The symbiosis is the key. 

But there is another case where after you have taken your decision and have gone ahead with it ,you realize that things are actually not going as smoothly as you anticipated.Then what to do? Then place yourself at "crossroads" again and revisit the decision once more. Sometimes life is not about YOU always .We need to consider people around us .But if you mind is clear about the decision you made in the first place and still people around you are not cooperating with you , plan your path in a way as to not involve those who are not interested in your path . I know it is not that simple. But life is all about workaround isn't it?

There are thousand ways to reach a place but what path you choose makes all the difference to your life. Its good to concentrate on the path rather than the goal. Because after you have reached your goal with no symbiosis then there will be no one around you  to appreciate it and will that give you happiness?

Dance of Shiva

When we read stories about Shiva's tandava ,we wondered if its possible that a person's dance in fury can evoke so much destruction.Today we have no choice but to believe it! When Shiva danced in Kedarnath destruction unleashed and trampled many on its way. But why did Shiva dance? What provoked him to dance in such a way that the entire population could be wiped out through his single pose?  I am sure many know the answer to this in their hearts.Humans!

We humans alone provoked him  .We abused the God given nature .We didn't let the moutains be as they were.We plundered them for coal,minerals,ore .We broke mountains and joined them again by road! We cut all the trees on the mountains ,which held the precious soil on to its roots, leading to landslides. We became greedy and  made lodges at Shiva's abode. We traded,bargained, sold in front of HIS eyes. We  burdened the mountains with more feet .We sliced the rivers to have light in our house but not realising that this will submerge many more houses in the process. We pushed ,pushed hard and asked the nature to perform miracles to fulfill our needs.And nature has given you its answer in action.IF YOU PUSH ME,I AM GOING TO SHOW MY TANDAV.

 All in the name of love and affection for God..He doesn't want our love in pretensions .He wants it in our actions.He wants us to be a true human first .To help others in need.To have a charitable mind.To understand that His purpose of life is indeed helping the humans to understand that our purpose of life also should be help others. Today to see a child lose his parents or other way round makes our heart bleed.Let us pledge not to cross the limits with nature.If we do then we have to do it at the cost of a life of your loved one.Lets not burden our mother nature more.Let us first stop what we are doing first and think and then re-plan the future of our children.

Jiah Khan's story

Jiah Khan is making headlines again but sadly for something nobody is happy about.Such young life wasted away for reasons unknown. But what saddens me more the way people are discussing the whole subject from suicide to depression to love failure. I wish people will leave her alone. Why torture that soul  ?

 I see every body discussing Jiah  Khan's life and her alleged boyfriend Suraj as if both were some public property .There are at least four articles printed in media mostly discussing  whether Suraj is in the wrong/Jiah was depressed/Was it love failure? etc. etc. Please give them a break .Stop judging both of them! Firstly we have no idea what happened between them .Only Jiah and Suraj will know the truth .And one of them is not in this world anymore . Its up to the law now .Whatever course of action is taken will be based on  evidences ,testimonies and rest of the technical jargon. That's the only way to treat this case .Jiah's family and Suraj's family should only be the parties involved. It would be best if the rest of media doesn't judge,pass comments and keep playing the guessing game and start endless discussions on suicide.This is such  a personal matter ,kindly keep it personal.

I really hope and pray that the truth comes out and Jiah's soul will truly rest in peace!

Education vs "Education"

I always wondered what educating someone meant. When I was young I  thought it was studying well and scoring good marks.How wrong can one be! I have grown now :). But I still see many viewing education with the same view of marks and degrees. But what truly is education?

According to me ,you are truly educated :

- When you are sensitive enough to make sure that you don't hurt others.

- When you have the compassion in you to realize that your actions indeed have consequences.

- When you respect elders for their age if not for anything else!(Like giving them your seat in the bus!)

- When you have conversations with people instead of arguments

- When you know that Winning always doesn't mean success

- When you are positive and optimistic in dealing every  situation

- When  you accept pain and happiness with same equanimity

- When integrity,honesty are part of your soul and reflect in every work you do.

- When you know how to conduct yourself in public

 - When you don't break queues by cheating to get your work done faster.

-  When you don't litter your surroundings and make and effort to keep it clean.

- When you do not waste natural resources and make an effort to save it or use it judiciously at every opportunity.

- When you can assimilate a good thought and implement it .

- When you know status ,titles are mere words and they itself do not signify anything about you.

- When you understand dignity of every profession and do not run any one profession down.

- and last but not the least ,when you know "education" is continuous and has not duration(like your degree).

Am I right?  :)

Everybody has the right to live

Everybody in this world deserves to live as they want to as long as they are not coming in between principles of others. But world is such a strange place,we are constantly advising people around us,always telling them what needs to be done ,what wrongs were done in the past and what wrongs they are doing now. I think it is best that the person himself learns from his mistakes and gain experience and then realise that what they had was not correct indeed. That way they will repeat the mistake or understand how to deal better. Of course the whole world is full of "I told you so" category but what to do? If we do not want advise then it is better to make mistakes and bear the digs at you.

I just want freedom for everybody.Everybody should feel so free that they can speak their mind without thinking so much about the other persons perception of us. This live and let live policy is the best policy I have ever come across.Please try it! :)

"Portrait of a Marriage" Pearl S Buck

When I picked up this book from my library ,I must confess ,I was prejudiced.But I was proven wrong .And I am glad I was proven wrong!  Coming to the story ,it is about two individual  (diametrically opposite ones!) in love ,how they  stay together till the end despite their disagreements .How symbiosis is achieved with conflicts.

Ruth and William are the lovers and the story is spread across three major parts of their lives.The first part reveals how they meet and fall in love and unite .The second one is about Ruth's silent fight with  William's eccentricities and her struggle to raise her kids without William's help. The third is about acceptance of each other in a beautiful way . 

William belongs to the upper class  but he  is restless there .  His peace comes with Ruth. When Ruth is unhappy in New York he agrees to  leave the city and live in her farmhouse with her parents. Ruth only can stir his soul and he feels if she is unhappy then he cannot be happy either. I found Ruth's behavior a bit selfish that she cannot adjust to the city even when William tries his best to accommodate her .She withdraws and pushes William away from her.William longs for her physically but when he confronts her finds out that she can be herself only when she is in her place he agrees to move to the country.He is inspired and complete only when Ruth is happy.

They move back and the next stage starts .They have two girls and a boy.The boy is a rebel. William has no connection with their rearing.He just paints .He has no interest in farming and he still is inspired by Ruth only.His love for her has increased four fold .Ruth grudgingly accepts that if she admonishes him in anyway he may leave her and go back to the city life .The burden of his sacrifice is always felt. She will endure his disinterest ,his zero earning power to keep him with her. She silently agrees with him in everything.The one thing which keeps them together always is their strong passion for each other.

The turning point of their life is when one day William visits his parents and is suddenly stuck by the fact that he is not "himself"  anymore.His paintings are not reaching anybody.The depth is gone. William's father suggests that he  go on tour on his own and search for his passion again . William is in two minds .When he reaches home he sees Ruth with a whip in her hand trying to whip her son Hal. William is shocked. He suddenly feels the harshness of Ruth and for the first time is repelled by her. He almost decides to leave because this Ruth is not his Ruth  .Ruth tries to please him physically as well but he is determined to leave.But by morning he sees that Hal has run away and Ruth is heartbroken.And when he sees her that way he cannot but stay back.Because he realizes she is his purpose of being.If she is unhappy he cannot be happy anywhere. Life continues till Hal returns .The children grow up,Mary is like her mom.Jill like William and Hal is a simply a new personality altogether.

Children grow up and finally  leave to find their destinies .Mary is married to farm guy(William is not happy but accepts).Jill goes away with William's ex-lover(Ruth learns to accept this ) and Hal marries a girl from Paris and settles there. Ruth always frets about her children but William has only eyes for Ruth 

Old age catches up with them and the William's time is up.Ruth always rebukes him for "not being a man" but William hardly reacts. When he finally dies in sleep ,Ruth realizes that they both loved each other always and love was the only thing which bound them together. The novel ends on this note.

William doesn't earn money,he won't participate in family affairs ,he simply paints . Ruth won't adjust in William's city ,she is always insecure,she feels threatened,she rebukes him for his weaknesses. But in all this they find love and learn to live with their differences so that they both can stay together forever.They cannot part with each other. That's the truth they  constantly discover. The love story makes you feel sad ,angry and sometimes helpless as well  .But is definitely engaging and worth a read.

I 

Ms Marple vs Mr Poirot

Ok by now everybody knows that I am a huge Agatha Christie fan .Of all her creations I love her works which involves Mr Poirot or Ms Marple. Although Christie has written only 13 novels with Ms Marple as the investigator  I still love Ms Marple more than anybody else. The other books she has written with Parker Pyne ,Tommy and Tuppence aren't many and somehow was not able to read them with lots of interest. Ok now lets come to Mr Poirot and Ms Marple. They both investigate crimes .Thats the only thing which is common between them.In terms of character they are poles apart.Let me list down a few of them.

Methodical vs Haphazardness

Poirot is extremely methodical in his process of investigation as well as in his personal life. He adjusts ashtrays ,makes sure his stuff are kept properly in its place (Ms Lemon /George sure help him in this!) .Although  Watson  tries to mellow it down ,Poirot doesn't budge. He must do things in an order. And surprisingly the order lies in his head. He hates anybody who is not methodical  in their approach(any Poirot story we take up is definitely an instance of this) and thats where Ms Marple enters the picture.Her investigation process is totally haphazard. She has no method but does have a sharp eye and an ear.With the help of these both she manages to crack every crime piece. The thirteen problems is an fantastic example of this. She manages to guess her nephew's impending marriage just by his and his fiance's behaviour which nobody else observe. Otherwise she has no process at all. Just observe each day and create a jigsaw piece and finally piece it together to crack the crime.

To the point vs Digress-er

Poirot hates anybody who digress and do not get to the point faster. How many times we see that the witness at the scene of crime especially maids  go on and on and on and hardly get to the point .He himself gets to the point very quickly and asks questions which are only relevant  Ms Marple on the other hand is a total digress-er .At one point she talks of the crime and in another about the milk man or the delivery boy.Only later we realize that what she spoke at that time has some relevance to the crime. But at the specific moment it seems as if she is scatting and kind of puts off the rest of the people around her.

Boastful ,Proud,immodest vs Self demeaning

It is very clear who is boastful. The greatest detective the world has seen ever :).Yep Mr. Poirot. He keeps praising himself so much that at one point you want shake him up and request him to be more modest. But modesty is not his cup of tea sorry sirop :D. Whereas our Ms Marple keeps telling that she hardly has gone out St Mary Mead and she can only judge based on her experiences in her place. She hardly takes credit for any work she has done  .At first she seems as if she is totally out her mind and she doesn't even correct anybody who believes it to be the case. That is one of the main reason why I love Ms. Marple.


Dressing

Poirot being Poirot gives too much importance to his appearance. He is immaculately  dressed and his mustaches take up most of his time.And Ms Marple hardly takes her appearance into account.She just worried about her rheumatism and health and nothing else.


Ok these are the things I can think of .If anybody else can add anything else I would love to hear.

Ciao

Women's day

Women's day is around the corner  and I am sure  many articles will come up with topics like these "How to manage work life and home life ", "Women in our society","Crimes against women" etc. The whole fact that these topics are written every year   around women's day is in itself a wonder to me .

The articles are written every year simply because nothing has changed. The women is still talked about ,discussed about  . The chat shows,tv channels , newspapers and in our own households. Crimes again women are on the rise. As far as I  know dowry harassment is still rampant.Not a day goes without hearing the word "rape" . The wives are getting beaten up and yes their opinions still don't matter. And of course the girls are still "items" (It is a shame that top actors themselves want to be called "item" girls). Now of course the positive side of it is that people are  growing aware of the evils in our society. The news channels are not leaving a single stone unturned (maybe for sensationalism ,don't know the motive)  to get the news across to us.  But I always wondered what is the reason behind all this? Why does a woman still need a "Women's day" to tell the world she is just another human being  . Why does she need this special attention ?Why does she have to scream and tell  "I am a woman ,respect me?"  These questions have never come up for a man! And it will never.I am sure about it.

The whole answer lies(I feel) in the way  women are made . Their physical  make up I mean. And of course this led for the man to behave in a certain way which the women endured meekly and  now it won't stop! The very act of procreation is designed in such a way that women's power is diminished. Makes her physically weak. And this gave man the great power to dominate .And he assumed (I guess) that if he can dominate in the act of procreation,he can do the same in all walks of life. This included things like beating her up(he is physically stronger) , screaming at her(show of power again), impose himself on her (without her permission), assume that women have no brains so there is no need to ask her for her opinion(coming from the same dominating personality) .Because the man was physically stronger  he would go out and get the wood ,build house etc. And the women had to make sure their men ate well and ended up cooking.But who added rules like after marriage the woman should go to the man's house ,that she should assume his name, that her children also should bear the father's name is a bit obscure.But whoever did ,should be blamed partly for all this mess. And in our country, the exchange of money during the marriage is an additional evil  to whole "disrespect for women" scenario.

The positive side is that people are aware now. Our own men have realized that what their ancestors did was wrong. Many are treating their  partners as equals. But unfortunately that is just the 2% of the population. The rest are still in the dark(including the women). Womenfolk please wake up! If your dignity is being shamed then question it.If someone is treating you like an physical object then stand up and fight and if you are not aware of what you want from life then please please educate yourself. Education will enlighten you!

Here is wishing every woman  a happy "Women's day".I only  wish that such a day should never be celebrated but only used as a tool to help women understand that they are equals as well.

A Poem

They

Two inches on this side and  hundred inches  on that side,

I am of the same colour.

I grow trees, feed animals, fill myself with water  that’s all I know.

Here or there it is the same for the blind me.

Yet they colour me with red for the same me.

They pushed down the wall to grab me with greedy hands.

They plunder me to have me.

I cry but they don’t hear the deaf ones.

God Let me be .Please.

I flow from beginning to the end to meet my sea.

Am I in the temple land or land of kings?

Here or there it is the same for the blind me.

I quench thirst and nurture life, that’s all I know.

They fight for me, they cut me into half, they stop me.

I roar and weep yet none hear, the deaf ones.

God let me just flow .Please.

I know to love and nurture

And in return I want the same. That’s all I know.

I am a human too with emotions and self respect.

Why am I treated like an object?

They ravage me, poke me, and murder my respect.

I shout for help ,I scream ,the bus moves.

My country shouts for justice yet none hear,the deaf ones.

God, just let me live with respect.Please.

I was made by you to help you .That’s all I know.

The more they have me the more they are happy.

They use me to hurt, murder and cheat  .

Their greed for me turns them to monsters.

 I cannot cry, I cannot weep. I cannot feel.

I am just a green paper. I can just pass on.

God, is there a way out of this ?Please?

God sees the truth but waits

Yesterday I read a short story by Leo Tolstoy named "God sees the truth but waits" .I am sure many have either read it or have seen adaptation of it on either small or big screen. For those who haven't  ,this is the gist. It is about a man Ivan ,a merchant , who  travels to another town on a business errand.On the way he meets a merchant  ( a rich one with lots of money on him) .They both stay in a lodge in the same room. Ivan leaves by early morning to finish of his reminded of his journey.   He reaches the town and finds that police are waiting for him . They inform him that  the merchant with he shared a room has been murdered brutally with a knife and they suspect him of the murder. They search his bag and find a blood stained knife.They arrest him despite Ivan's denials.He is wrongly implicated and gets a life sentence for his deed. Even his wife wont believe that he did not commit the murder. Ivan is heartbroken and resigns to fate . He leads a amicable life in the prison. He sort of becomes a messiah for everyone.Then one day  a new prisoner comes. Soon Ivan learns that this was the man who killed the merchant and placed the knife in Ivan's bag. Ivan is angry.He feels a feeling of vengeance rising in him . One day  Ivan finds the man digging a hole  to escape from the prison . The man asks Ivan to not let the word out and in turn promises Ivan that he will let him escape as well. The man is caught and police ask Ivan if he had seen the man digging the hole. Now it is turn of Ivan to get his revenge .To implicate the man to quench his anger. But he doesn't. He tells the police that he cannot say anything. The police let the man go. The man  is remorseful now. He begs Ivan for forgiveness  and weeps. Ivan  forgives him   and then he feels very light. The burden of vengeance,anger,misery vanishes from him. He is no longer suffering.  His heart gets cleansed. The man goes to the police and tells the truth about killing the merchant  and the police are ready to release Ivan .But on the day of the release Ivan dies.

It is very difficult to not get moved by such a story. Ivan's pain,helplessness,misery ,loneliness pushes across to the reader. We feel his sadness.But the story is not about hopelessness but it is about keeping the hope alive in our hearts. God watches everything. And when Ivan's moment of truth came  Ivan's heart is not the same anymore. He is a wise man . A man who realizes the smallness of everything before forgiveness. The moment Ivan's heart forgives the man  ,he becomes free. God has released him from the burden. Resigning to the fate helps Ivan. But I differ in this. Ivan's release came too late. He deserved much better life   but God waited. The story makes you feel for Ivan. But I couldn't say the same about God. Why did he wait? When he saw the truth ,why did he wait? What was his purpose? I wish God could answer this to me.

Why ?

I ask GOD these questions and I imagine him answering me thus.

Why is the sky blue?
Let your  life be as serene and calm  as the beautiful blue colour always .If you forget it just look up .

What is the sea showing me?
Appearances can be deceptive.You will know the multitude of life which is under me.

What are the birds telling me?
You are on your own once you get your  wings.

Why does the sun set?
After a sunny day comes the night .Both are part of life.

Why did you make trees?
To make you understand what unconditional love means.

Why did you give us earthquakes?
To tell you that burden is not a good things.It bursts out if the pressure is more.

Why does flute make such  a sound.
Music is around us  .We  are yet to notice it.

Why did you give me illness?
You are a machine which needs oiling  time to time .

Why did you give me anger.
To fight injustice.

Why did you make of this colour.
To make this world even more colourful

Why did you make religion.
I did not make it.

What is the difference between right and wrong?
Right has a conscience and wrong doesn't know what it means.

Why can't I see you?
You can't see the air and yet you are alive because of it. I am the invisible faith which  makes you alive with hope.

Why you take away my loved ones?
Birth and Death is part of cycle.Everybody must go through their turn.

What gift is the best gift you gave me.
The ability to forget and fogive.

How to be always happy?
Just live and let live.

What will happen in my future?
What you do now lays foundation for your future.

Thank you God.